I’ve had a rough few weeks personally, and have been afraid to write…and lacked adequate words. I’m also out of the writing groove. However, just this morning I read a few entries by another blogger, and was encouraged to write again by his free and easy style. We’ll see how this goes.
While on twitter this morning, I had a couple of conversations with @sandramogensen and @DarkPiano. The conversations were different in nature, but the two led to the same end result. I played the piano “just because” for the first time in months. I play at school almost every day, but that isn’t quite the same. When I play to accompany students, I rarely think about my playing or the details of the music I’m producing. My mind is preoccupied with concepts I’m trying to teach and classroom management. This morning was a refreshing change.
I started my morning tweets with a typical “Good morning.” Almost immediately, @sandramogensen replied, asking about my plans for the weekend. When I answered and asked her about her own schedule, she wrote about a recital she has this weekend: playing Grieg and other composers’ works. The first time I listened to Sandra’s playing (Grieg) through a link she provided, my emotions were caught up with the music.
Simultaneously, I had a conversation with @DarkPiano. We talked about our mothers, how they had both passed away in recent years from cancer. Memories of my mom who died in November, 2004 have been very close to the surface in recent weeks. I wear the wedding ring my father gave her on my right hand to remind myself of her character and life. (My parents reached their 50th wedding anniversary eight months before she died.) I’ve noticed that ring more frequently in recent days. As I talked to both of these twitter friends, memories of practicing piano with my mother listening from other parts of the house flooded my brain. Mother didn’t have the advantages of formal music training, but she loved music; she especially enjoyed listening to her daughters play…at least in our more advanced playing days!
@DarkPiano shared a link to one of his own piano pieces recently on twitter. I liked it, and the melody stayed with me and continues to play in my head at odd times. I was able to get the manuscript from him just this morning. His piece, “Prologue,” was the piece I started with this morning. I was a little hesitant at first, missing the C, playing a B instead, on the thumb under F scale pattern, but after a few times through the piece, my fingers started to remember, and my memories of Mother took over: her sweet, gentle spirit, her love for other people and animals, and her sensitivity. Then the grief hit. Not just about Mother, but other losses I’m experiencing. I tweeted at that point: “All those sappy sayings about music and art? They’re true!” I didn’t know how else to express in 140 characters the effect the music was having at that point.
After I played through Loren’s piece several times, I remembered my Chopin and Debussy books from my high school days. Every once in a long while I pull out the Chopin Preludes. My Debussy book, along with multiple other clarinet and piano books, were ruined in a basement flood about 10 years ago. I never replaced them, thinking I wouldn’t need them in the future. That was an overly practical time period in my life…. In spite of missing the Debussy this morning, my spirit began to feel somewhat restored after practicing and playing two of my favorite Chopin Preludes: #4 and #15. I finished by playing “Prologue” once again.
I no longer have the time or emotional energy to finish this post properly, so I’ll quickly finish by saying I’m very thankful for friends, many whom I may never meet. I’m also very thankful for the music in my life.
