Entries from June 2009
Last night’s all Beethoven concert with the West Suburban Summer Festival Orchestra was a fantastic experience! I love playing clarinet in community groups, both bands and orchestras. It’s inspiring to perform with dedicated adults who love music and their instruments enough to practice and rehearse, in addition to other full-time responsibilities they may have, without monetary compensation. Because of schedule conflicts of the regular 2nd clarinet player, I’m fortunate to be able to play this entire summer season.
The WSS Summer Festival Orchestra, a part of the West Suburban Symphony Society, is a newer group in Chicago’s Western suburbs. Auditions began in February, 2008, and the very first concert was July of last summer: Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana. I auditioned last year when the group was forming, but didn’t make the final cut. However, I was placed on the guest/sub list. Imagine my excitement when I received the e-mail asking about my availability to play the very first concert last July, 2008. Of course, I accepted without hesitation!
After that first concert, I wrote the following about the experience (Monday, July 21, 2008).
How do I begin to put into words my thoughts about Saturday night’s concert? I was a small part of the very first performance of a new group in the western suburbs–”a part of history,” as the conductor, Peter Lipari, described it. I was only subbing for the 2nd clarinet player, but somehow, that doesn’t seem to affect my sense of truly being a part of something great. Was the final performance Saturday night perfection? No. However, the faults I heard seemed pretty small in comparison to the overall picture.
The West Suburban Festival Symphony is a volunteer/audition group. I don’t believe any of the musicians received compensation. In fact, all of the orchestra participants had to pay a $20 fee in order to cover the cost of the music rental. Each member of the 100+ voice choir purchased their own music in order to participate. We sold tickets, helped advertise by word of mouth, put up fliers, etc. The success of the concert was definitely a group effort on all fronts. The conductor, the president of the organization, and several others, took a big risk to get the group started. Would the initial auditions, fundraising, and scheduling of concerts, venues, and rehearsals produce enough of a payoff? Would the group be well received? Would ticket sales be sufficient? Would the members of the chorus and orchestra show enough commitment to produce a successful performance? Fortunately, the answers to all of those questions was a resounding YES! In fact, at the end of the last movement, the audience of over 450 people immediately rose to their feet for a standing ovation that lasted several minutes. Were they just tired of sitting for over an hour? (I’m asking the question a cynic might ask!) I don’t think so. There was something truly moving about the whole performance. The soloists were fantastic; the choir sang beautifully; and the orchestra played their hearts out.
Why did it all work? We worked under the leadership of a charismatic individual who helped us all feel a part of a “family,” a person who was also able to spur us on to play, sing, and work to the very best of our ability. Peter was able to run rehearsals in such a way that we all had a great time while working to produce the very best performance possible. As I played during rehearsals and at the performance, I had the sense that I was playing under the direction of a TRULY creative person. Every member of the group with whom I talked spoke of how much they love playing in Peter’s group. Yes, it was a group effort with many people doing vital jobs behind the scenes, but no one would have done their work with as much enthusiasm and effort if it hadn’t been for Peter’s leadership. I think they all know that, too!
Categories: Uncategorized
I had the urge to write the following in twitter, hesitated, then thought ,”Why not in my blog instead.” After logging on and seeing my stats (still not sure I like seeing those!) and the pictures of people who have commented, I was calmed and comforted.
Three of the hardest words to say: “I release you.” I’m broken-hearted.
Yes, I am broken-hearted. However, I also know I’m not alone.
Categories: Uncategorized
Well, it’s been a while, but I’ve decided it’s time to write again. Will I reveal “too much information?” That’s entirely possible, but I’m caring less and less about that these days, so be forewarned!
Several events in recent days have led me to this new state of mind. First, I have a friend from college whom I haven’t seen in years who is battling cancer…and appears to be losing that particular battle. However, as I read her blog about her experiences, emotions, and faith, I’m encouraged, challenged, and reminded how short life really is. Melody is only 46 (or 47?) years old, has four children ranging in age from 5 to 19, and yet she is handling her situation with grace and a strong faith which I greatly admire. Second, since November I’ve become active on Twitter. I update my status often throughout the mornings and evenings and have “met” several wonderful people in the process. Recently, I met in person one of my Twitter friends, Andy. Andy is one of the brightest, nicest people I’ve met in recent memory. If I hadn’t been willing to open up a little on Twitter, I may never have met this wonderful young man in person. My life is richer for it! Last, I’m realizing more and more how valuable every day of my life is. I don’t want to spend my days pretending I’m something I’m not. Even if out of the handful of people reading this post most don’t agree or relate, maybe one person will.
The biggest change in my situation has been my recent separation from my husband of 20+ years. Twenty years ago I took my vows before God, family, and friends, fully intending to love, honor, and cherish this man until death parted us. We agreed then that the word “divorce” wouldn’t even become a part of our vocabulary. And yet, after both of us royally messed up, here we are. I’ve found it very difficult to keep going because of the roller coaster of emotions I’ve experienced. During the last two+ months, one idea has helped me over and over: “Just Do It!” Yes, the Nike ad. I’m going to use an idea Andy and I discussed and make this a list post. (This one’s for you @Zweibz7!)
Situations In Which the Phrase “Just Do It!” Has Helped Me Keep Going:
- I had a rough day at school; I’m tired, depressed, and feeling generally awful about my life in general. I know I should go for a run, but it’s the last thing I want to do. “Just Do It!” Any runner knows the high we hear about is truth. Every time I run, I finish with a brighter outlook. It’s just starting that’s the hardest.
- I’ve let the day get away from me; it’s after 8:00 and I still haven’t practiced my clarinet. “Just Do It!” Almost every time I practice, I experience a mental state described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi as flow. My mind clears, problems become smaller in my mind, and I experience increased motivation as the practice session continues. When thoughts enter my mind beforehand like, “What is the purpose of spending all this time practicing as a non-professional? What do my friends think of it? Is it really THAT important?” if I “Just Do It,” those questions fade away. I’m reminded that the satisfaction in the music itself, increased playing opportunities, and the mental benefits of practice are well worth my efforts. Once again, I have to “Just Do It,” even when I don’t initially feel like it.
- It’s time to start my teaching day. The idea of pasting on a smile and being professional is the last thing I want to do. “Just Do It!” When my first group of first graders come into the room in the morning, I try to look at each one of them and think, “They just want to be noticed and know someone cares.” Some days are better than others, but I still have to “Just Do It!”
- I pick up my oldest from school when my emotions are at a low. She LOVES to chat; I just want to be left alone, not listen. “Just Do It!” Her days at home are numbered: she leaves for college in three and a half short months. I have a feeling I’m going to miss her chatter when she’s gone…
- I get up in the morning, questioning how my life could be at this point, how I might find redemption. I know I should read my Bible, but it’s the last thing I want to do. “Just Do It!” Every time I follow through with this, I rediscover God’s mercy and grace.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds any more than anyone else. However, I do know if I follow through with these ideas tomorrow, my day will be so much better!
Categories: Personal Motivation
